🔗 Share this article

“Well, the situation is pretty dire here. We’re advising all of our clients to commit their entire holdings into canned food and shotguns.” This nugget of sage advice comes from the Brain Gremlin – a lab-engineered, articulate, bespectacled member of the slimy Gremlin horde that overruns Manhattan’s high-tech Clamp Tower skyscraper in helmer Joe Dante’s unhinged continuation Gremlins 2: The New Batch. At first glance, it’s merely an investment tip from one monster to another. Yet, oddly enough, it’s also surprisingly sturdy life advice. Seriously, consider my perspective.

When life takes a turn for the worse, the worst thing you can do is take things too seriously. The Brain Gremlin understands this. Indeed, a large portion of the dentally-gifted beasts that inhabit Dante’s chaotic 1990 feature (possibly his finest) possess the same wry, meta comic sensibility regarding the indistinct border separating daily routine and absolute bedlam. It’s a particular aspect of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that maintains my loyalty – and the older I get, it’s the message that strikes the deepest chord.

An Early Life Fascination

Of course, my connection with this movie did not begin on such an deeply thoughtful note. Growing up, we only had a few scratched-up video tapes at home. Included within that collection were Gremlins and its follow-up, the latter housed in a chunky ex-rental box likely purchased from an off-brand video shop and featuring growling monsters on its tattered front. I was right away smitten and these films wasted no time inserting themselves inside my young, susceptible psyche. Henceforth, they became an almost-daily part of my youthful watching schedule.

Dante’s first film commonly garners all the plaudits, thanks mostly because of its legacy as a partly frightening holiday classic – and let me be clear, I’ve watched Gremlins more times than I can count. That said, its successor seldom receives the same level of elevated esteem, which feels a travesty. As a kid, I’d never miss an opportunity to watch Gremlins 2. During long summer holidays, I’d retreat into the house and pop it in. When I got my own TV-VHS combo unit, it continued playing looped in my bedroom. Gradually, it etched itself permanently in my psyche. If my parents noticed this obsession, they didn’t seem to mind.

Subtler Rewards and Cultural Nuggets

As I matured, new understandings enriched repeat viewings, elevating the fun of watching diminutive verdant beasts gleefully trash a New York high-rise. I learned the forward-thinking real estate tycoon and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was based squarely upon the eventual commander-in-chief Donald Trump, with his ginger staff member Marla (Haviland Morris) echoing his one-time partner Marla Maples. Luckily, Clamp possesses greater compassion than his real-life counterpart.

The “doomsday” video Clamp plays during the height of creature carnage? I discovered it was inspired by a real-life “Doomsday” video produced by the CNN boss Ted Turner should the world really ended. I noticed how Dante made a special effort to film varying versions of a meta sequence where Gremlins hijack the very film you’re watching. A version for theaters, another for home video and television, each providing a grinning portion of fourth-wall-breaking cultural alchemy ahead of its time.

A Lasting Influence

While it was effects expert Rick Baker’s fantastically vile creatures that captured my attention as a child, this subsurface richness maintained my fascination as an adult. In time, I even spoke to Dante about it myself and he had no hesitation revealing to me he made the movie with the express purpose of poking fun at those who loved its absurd-yet-genuine predecessor and desired a sequel. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he gleefully confessed. This cartoonish defiance and commitment to not take his sequel as gravely as his Warner Bros bosses clearly wanted him to, only increased my affection for it.

When I endured a sudden family bereavement not long ago, I was taken aback to discover that, during my heightest mourning, all I wanted to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Strange, isn’t it? Maybe not. The comforting familiarity it furnished was necessary to weaken my mind’s grief morass – but the stuff it had bestowed upon me as an adult were similarly beneficial.

Like Gremlins rampaging through a genetics laboratory, there’s certain elements in life you just cannot manage. Dante is aware of it. The Brain Gremlin knows it too. Sometimes, you have to follow their example: embrace the chaos, invest all your resources into canned food and shotguns and try not to view the world with undue solemnity.

It’s robust worldly wisdom from a very unlikely source – and it’s why Gremlins 2: The New Batch will eternally stand as my go-to cinematic solace.